Dialogue

Setting: Machiavelli, Locke, and Hobbes are sitting on a cloud in heaven. All three are dressed in white tunics, belted with gold straps. As each one gets excited, his wings start to flutter. Below the three angles, Jack and his fellow savages have set the island ablaze in fierce, glowing flames.

Smoke drifts up into the cloud.

Hobbes: What is this? This smog is clogging up my nose; they’re going to burn the whole bloody island down!

Locke: My dear man, do you honestly think someone would burn down a whole island?

Machiavelli: They are burning the whole island down? Who are these heathens?

All three lean down to evaluate the island.

Locke: Ah, it is my good friend, Ralph, and his little friends…I checked on them a few weeks ago and those are some jolly good British boys. They have a nice little democracy and are all getting along just fine!

Hobbes: Blimey, they aren't just fine; they're burning down the whole blasted island! That chap Jack is going to destroy all their food and means of survival.

Machiavelli: I say, right on my boy! Show ‘em who’s boss.

Locke: (leans over the cloud) What is this? They are totally going against their human nature!

Hobbes: Against their human nature? My dear man, it is simply the opposite! Jack’s attempt at killing Ralph is directly linked with his human nature. He is doing everything in his power to advance himself in their society. How would you expect the young chaps to act?

Machiavelli: Rightly so, rightly so, and he is doing exactly what he should to keep his powerful position. The only way to ensure that Ralph never gets power back, is to kill him. And, it goes without saying that Ralph should never regain that power. Showing fear, ridiculous! Refusing to threaten his people, absurd! He is a right nancy boy, I’ll say!

Locke: This is all too much, you are both off your trolleys! These boys are humans; they have the right to life! For heaven’s sake they have been with those pigs too long; they are beginning to act like pigs themselves! This is not the way most humans would act, I assure you!

Hobbes: Off my trolley? I beg your pardon; you are off your trolley! If it is confusing you, forget this bloody island and instead refer back to history. Look to the past! How many times have people reverted to evil to save themselves? Open your eyes, you nancy! The world is not all lollipops and butterflies, accept it, humans are evil.

Machiavelli: Would you two shut your mouths? What if those boys hear you? What will they think? Who will they look up to? Respect your appearances my friends! Quarrel as much as you like, but I must have you keep it down!

Locke: (to Hobbes) Well, your theory doesn't work either, my man! You have said people will fight and kill each other when there is a shortage. But there is no shortage! These lads have pigs coming out of their ears! There is no reason, no acceptable reason, for them to be fighting. It is illogical! Absurd!

(Hobbes' wings start fluttering and lifting him off of the air)

Hobbes: An abundance of food? Blast it, Locke, don't you see, while they may not have reached their bloody limit yet, they will soon! Not only do just a few of the boys have access to the animals, but there is not enough pig to go around. It is not even logical that there would be enough pigs, not at the rate that they are killing them anyway. And because of this blasted shortage the damned boys have to fight each other! Don't you see?

Locke: I most certainly do not see that, you are fabricating! (Locke starts fluttering too until he his level with Hobbes) This is absurd, simply absurd! How can you say that there is a shortage of pigs? The boys have had absolutely no trouble getting meat after they finally learned the trade... (Machiavelli interupts)

Machiavelli:Look! Over there! It's a ship! Why, that's convenient!

Locke: I knew how it would be, I knew it simply could not be! See those boys will be fine as soon as they see another human they will be back to normal! The world is not going to hell! Praise to high heaven, the world is not crumbling beneath our feet!

Lock and Hobbes flutter back down and all three lie on their stomaches and watch as the ship docks and the boys meet with the naval officers. Ralph breaks down into tears in front of the one of the officers.

Locke: My, do those men look sharp, I tell you those boys will be humans again in no time (Machiavelli interrupts in response to Ralph bursting into tears in front of the naval officer.)

Machiavelli: Ralph! Do NOT show emotion! (Machiavelli starts to flutter up and hover)What the bloody hell does that boy think he is doing? Appearance I tell you! Appearance! Where is this boy’s sense?

Hobbes: Locke, I do not know how to speak more plainly! Whether or not these boys start acting civilized now is not important! Human nature comes to play when the boys are stuck in the wild, that is when their instincts kick in!

Machiavelli: Look, they are all getting into the ship, hopefully that officer knows something about leadership, I dare say he must have some knowledge to be an officer in these times.

Locke: (ignoring Machiavelli) Fine Hobbes, I will admit that when the boys are on the island without any civilization that that is when their human nature comes out. But you also cannot deny the fact that not all of the boys reverted to evil to save themselves. Look at Ralph!

Hobbes: Sucks to Ralph! He's what, one boy out of twenty? Come to your senses!

Machiavelli: That does not mean that all who reverted to evil necessarily have an evil human nature. Look at Sam n' Eric. They did not have evil in their hearts, but because Jack is such a fine leader, he was able to scare the boys into doing what he wanted.

Locke: Exactly. You see, Hobbes, you cannot judge all human nature based on one society because the results will vary based on the leadership expressed.

Machiavelli: Right on, my dear man! Right on, the reason that the evil side of human nature took over on this island was because the one boy with an evil nature also happened to be an adequette leader.

Ship drives away from the island

Locke: Shall we go have our tea?

Hobbes: No, I will not have my tea with you! Confounded man! I shall sit here until it pleases me to leave.

Locke and Machiavelli jump off of the cloud and fly away, leaving Machiavelli alone in the middle of the darkening sky.